A Victorian era nutritionist nicknamed the "Great Masticator" argued that food should be chewed about 100 times per minute before being swallowed.

A newlywed couple decide that instead of going on an expensive honeymoon, they would get a case of beer and go out to the local lake. As they are sitting out there drinking and having fun, and alien ship comes down and a male and female alien get off of the ship. "Do not worry," they said. "We come in peace. We want to party." The newlyweds decide to let them party with them as it would be a great story to tell their children. After a while the male alien asked if it would be okay if he were to take the human woman on his ship and have sex with her. He said that the female alien will stay on the ground and have sex with the human male. the couple agreed to try it out. The woman went onto the ship with the male alien and as they got undressed she noticed that he was not well endowed. She began to giggle. He looked at her and said that she was not to worry. He reached up and tugged on his right ear and his penis grew five inches. He then tugged on his left ear and it expanded an inch and a half in girth. They had sex and then went back down to join the other two. The woman walked up to her husband and he said: "Now honey, don't lie...how was it? She looked at him and said.."I won't lie...it was the best sex I have ever had in my life...how was yours?" He gave her a bewildered look and said..."I don't know...she wouldn't stop tugging on my ears."